I sent myself a mystery gift ...

I sent myself a mystery gift ... from me to me. I'm not hopless. I just looorve to pamper myself! It's a sealed box, with golden wrapping and emerald green ribbons. On the side there is a box of chocolates, it looked sweet and the name tag read "Discover the new Paky flavors." I never made chocolate. Were the "Paky flavors" weaved by my mind? Do they reflect the state of the mind? Did they make a special chocolate to fit every mood? Or was the note card designed to make you see what you want to read? I was tempted for a split of a second to abandon the closed box, that smelled of mystery n adventure, to forget about it and devour every single one of the sweet sins. Then I decided against it. I'll taste them later, "each on a different day," I silently promised myself. I looked at the golden box. For a moment there, I thought it moved. Perhaps my mind was playing tricks on me. Perhaps it moved. Perhaps it's a hat but I like to think it's a boa constrictor. I like to think it moved. I kept looking, watching, encircling it. And ... I thought: Imagine away ya Paky, the box could have anything from a kitten to the unpublished manuscript of Harry Potter n' the Deathly Hallows. Or better still, when I open it, the ground may dissolve beneath me and the heavens may open up, the real world may slither away taking all the shame and all the rules that don't matter and perhaps I will see the light and then the door to another world. Dragons, winged horses, the crocodile with the ticking clock, wizards and prophets, and "here I come," I will say and jump in.

Anon-

"Some people storm imaginary Alps all of their lives and die in the foothills cursing difficulties that do not exist."

Finding escape

Choose something that liberates you and do it on a daily basis. Practice it in all states. Choose something that you can easily escape to and which costs you nothing. Like drawing, dancing, writing, singing, running, jogging, walking, memorizing Quran or poetry, anything. When you're angry or sad, do it. When you're dissapointed, do it. When you're afraid, do it. It might seem easier at first to drown in your sorrows, curse, scream or cry. And it does need effort to redirect your energy and replace your anger. But the outcome is worth it. Go out to a club, a coffee house, a public garden, a spacious mosque, any outdoor place and take a smooth pen (Reynolds would do), or a pencil (don't forget a sharpener) and paper. Sit down and write or draw away your fears. Lock yourself in your room and dance for hours. Your moves need not be sophisticated. Your words do not have to be all eloquent. Don't choose them. Just unleash the energy and let it flow. At first, you might feel speechless -the same with anything else, you might feel helpless- but if you push yourself on, you will find a million of things to say. It does not have to be about what's bothering you. Write about the wind blowing on your face, write about people you see around you, write about the sky, life, your dream car, heaven, this country, about your friends, how you feel, what you had always wanted to do, whatever. You don't have to write longhand if you're not comfortable with it, take your laptop and type away. Push on, at first you'll feel your fingers hurting and you'd want to stop but if you go on, you will forget yourself in the process and you will become one with what you write, draw, with your body, your voice, your mind. It will not be physical anymore, it will transcend your being. Then, you'll be flying free. Don't go back and read your sentences. What you draw does not have to make sense. It should only make sense to you. In this moment, it's all about you. Forget about grammar and rules, forget about dance steps, just let the light -and the darkness- flow out of you. Everything is right if you believe at this moment that it is. Don't be afraid to be you; write something shocking if you feel like it. Write something you never thought you will have the courage to put in words or on paper. Break through. There are no boundaries here, in this moment. There are no wrongs. There are no limits. There is no box. There is no earth beneath, or sky above. There even is no pen or paper or laptop. There is just you and what you need to say or do. You. For once, it's all about you and you alone. Write what you want to read. Forget about judgement or what people might say. Draw what you want to see. Forget about what's art and what's not. Dance like you never did before. Forget about what you look like as long as it feels beautiful to you. You. You. You. For once, it's all about you. Enjoy it. Have the courage to let down your guards and lose yourself. Only then you will find it again; refreshed, whole, and even wiser than when you had let it go.

This post is from www.atpakys.blogspot.com; a blog created as a place to share ways for recreating fun, inspiration, creativity and meaning in our lives.

Today is a gift. Have fun!

"Today is a gift. Have fun"

A question to ponder on for today and perhaps for the days to come is, "Why is this moment so perfect? Why is your life amazing right now?"

Get a blank paper, or open a blank page in your diary/journal if you keep one, and write down whatever makes your life at this moment good. Write down what you are thankful for at this very moment. For ideas, go to www.atpakys.blogspot.com, or click on "@Paky's" under Links on the right side of this page.

Cheers!

And I would love to hear you tell your tale...

If you are human, then am interested in what you have to say. You don't have to be rich. You don't have to be sophisticated. You don't have to be a movie star. If you are human, then I would love to hear your story, and truly listen. It does not have to be happy. It does not have to be big. It is important because you tell it. Leave out pretence when you are with me, you don't need it, just speak from the heart. If you're human, then I care. Then I want to know you. And I choose to. Don't give me a name, if you don't want to. I don't care about your age, if you don't. I don't want to know what you own, if it means nothing to you. Whatever you say I take it, I believe you if you say it is true.

Pakinam Amer

Quote of the day

"If your mind is open, you will never face closed doors."

My message to the world

Be yourself.
Read a banned book.
Embrace nature.
Defend what's different.
Support the mad!

–-Paky Style

You don't live here anymore...

Like a thousand oceans sweeping through me. Like a sweet rapture streaming through my veins. Like a million thoughts in an illuminated mind. Like a love that’s blinding to the senses.
You came into my city. You’re here.
You seeped into my life; a light breeze that comes slowly, dancing with the golden leaves, swirling them up high, swinging them down low. Then high again. And so the dances go.
Like the Arabs’ Caravans, camels treading, softly cutting through the desert. Like the joy when their shadows come through; clouding the air with yellow dust. Amber, spices and musk. An old sheikh recounting stories around the fire. Tales of demons and brave men.
But like them, you will only stay for a while. You will fill the air and steal away. At dawn, you will fold your tent and pass into the rising sun, just beyond the horizon, right below the stars. And you will ask if I will remember you. And I will say yes.
But as you dance away, as you walk past me, I will know it’s a promise already broken. It’s a memory, already left behind.
Like a flight of happiness. Like a muse. Like the best of days. Like this moment, that will never come again. Like this sunrise, that will be gone forever. Like the red streak of sunlight now softly stroking your face. You are once in time.
You’ve left my city. And you don’t live here anymore.

Pakinam Amer
August 2006

I close my eyes...

I fly over mountains and seas… but am still here, in my own little room. I close my eyes and dream of black-winged angels and flying horses. I see myself differently. I see everything differently. I think and think and then drift into a sleep; softly slipping into dreams and fantasies… all all mine. My hair flutters in the wind, I can feel it on my face, on my lids, on my lips, I can taste it; and it pushes on the tips of my fingers, sweet cool wind. It hugs me, engulfs me… gives me a taste of paradise. Mountains. Green and red mountains. A ground gold and blue. Sparkling waters and rivers. Golden and silver trees. The sky. Oh! The black blue sky; winged angels, shooting stars in broad daylight, the sun and the moon, and the heavenly white clouds. It’s all mine. It’s all mine. I close my eyes and I see it. I see all my dreams come true. I close the door to my room, and turn out the lights of outside. Every time I close my eyes; the darkness brings me hope. I see it all; my paradise. Dragons. Unicors. Creatures of old. Magic beyond any fantasy. Fairies and Pirates; like Neverland’s. I close my eyes and I walk a path, and it’s misty, mysterious but not cold. I tread on land; ancient, and darkened by wisdom. The air is perfumed; it smells of adventures; like stories of children that put you to sleep. The voice of a mother, a grandmother, a sister telling you about the hero and the monster. You feel both… and you walk the path. You see your own legend; and you make it. And it’s all all mine. The Forest and the paradise. The misty path and the red mountains. The wizard and the angel. The earth and the stars. And I close my eyes and I hear bells, and music and calls in the distance. I close my eyes and I hear my own adventure told and retold. I close my eyes and I become the child who is trapped in my mind. And I close my eyes and become a winged angel. I close my eyes…

PAKINAM AMER
August 3, 2006

Lord of the Rings: Memorable Quotes

"All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost. The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be blade that was broken: The crownless again shall be king."

"Home is behind. The world ahead and there are many paths to tread. Through shadow to the edge of night until the stars are all alight. Mist and shadow. Cloud and shade. All shall fade. All shall... fade. "

"Where is the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing? They have passed like rain on the mountain, like a wind in the meadow; The days have gone down in the West behind the hills into shadow."

"I can't do this Sam," said Frodo. "I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something." "What are we holding on to Sam?" asked Frodo. "That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for."

"They cursed us. Murrrderer they called us. They cursed us! And we wept. We wept, to be so alone. And we forgot the taste of bread... the sound of trees... the softness of the wind. We even forgot our own name. My prrreciousss. " (Gollum)

"Here at last, dear friends, on the shores of the Sea, comes the end of our fellowship in Middle-earth. Go in peace! I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil." (Gandalf the White, at the Grey Havens)